Things I wish i knew before having my first child

First-time parent advice: 10 things I wish I knew before bringing home a baby

It’s unfortunate that babies don’t come with their own manuals – but if you’re looking for new baby advice, you’re probably discovering there’s no shortage of it on Google. It’s just a shame that some of it can be quite conflicting. 

So what should you believe? We went out and asked that same question of first-time parents to see what their experiences were. Here are top 10 tips they wished someone had told them before bringing home their new baby.

Let’s be clear - this is going to be hard. But also incredibly rewarding

Every first-time parent has been there: an emotional rollercoaster of joy, elation, anxiety, insecurity, happiness and dread. Often all at the same time. 

There are also tears. Lots of them. And not just from the baby. That’s because there’s a melting pot of hormones suddenly swamping your brain. These tend to last for a week or two and, combined with lack of sleep, can send new mums into a deep fog. But don’t worry, once you’ve found your feet and a good routine, you’ll probably view each challenge in a whole new light. It’ll still be taxing, but oh-so rewarding. 

Our top 10 tips from first-time parents

Question: What’s the one thing you wish you’d have known before you had your first child?

Answers:

1. You never have a day off parenting

You become a parent from the day your baby is conceived! It’s an identity shift and a lifestyle shift – but it is amazing.

2. Take one step at a time

One feed… one poo… one sleep at a time. And you won’t believe it, but [when things settle down] you will miss waking up in the night and having that time together [with your bub]

And…

Whenever you feel the pressure of ‘my child is doing this’ – or ‘one up parenting’ – tell yourself ‘Baby Race’. Baby Race is an episode of Bluey – and it’s 100% spot on.

Our thoughts: Absolutely! Every child and parent experience is unique. It’s not a race in any way and some kids will develop faster than others in some areas.

3. Your sense of self will change

You’ll lose a bit of sense of self, but you’ll gain a bigger range of emotions: happiness, worry, love, fear… You are going to get angry, sad and frustrated with your new baby – along with your support network and partner. But you aren’t a bad parent because you feel these things.

For the first six months, remember you are both tired and it’s not personal. Being the Dad, I needed to remember this and be supportive and not take things personally.

Our thoughts: We agree. It can be really hard on Dads as well – especially if they weren’t expecting so much upheaval.

4. A community / support network is key – especially in the first year

During the first year, being part of a mothers’ group and sharing war stories is essential.[It helps] with the transition to being a mum and getting support from mums in the same situation.

5. Parenting books are good, but you learn by doing

All books and advice is rubbish and your child won’t be an ‘average’ statistic. Gather information and go with your instincts. All the statistics are averages or sample sizes of one. Don’t worry, your kid will be okay.

Our thoughts: As suggested, there’s a lot of dubious information on this topic around. Be mindful, though, that leading publications have been approved by experts in the field and can offer plenty of sound advice - simply check that the authors are respected Paediatrics. Also, remember that each child comes with their own quirks, so yes, your own instincts are important.

6. Preparation is key

[If you can] get everything that’s expensive that makes life easier – as it will pay for itself in the long run.

Our thoughts: If you can’t afford to buy the very best items brand new, consider buying high-quality second-hand goods. There are lots on the market in great condition.

7. Practical purchases

[Don’t just look for quality, think of practicality when you buy.] When looking to purchase a cot, check to see if your wrist can fit through the bars. You will be likely to spend time patting and comforting your baby over the next couple of years. Being able to do this sitting down on the floor will really save your back.

8. That your child is their own person

Kids are their own people. You can put a lot of energy into trying to turn them into someone [you’d like them to be], but at the end of the day they will make their own choices. All you can do is try to be there, listen, encourage and model by example.

9. Body changes are normal

Your breasts will leak – especially when you’re trying to sleep – so fit the bed with a mattress protector. Brolly Sheets are great!

Our thoughts:You may also want to consider breast pads. And for daywear we recommend a super soft, comfortable nursing bra that’s kind on your nipples, offers a supportive A frame breast pad design, and has easy to operate clips. And if your nipples hurt from feeding? Before racing out for expensive creams, midwives recommend rubbing in some of your own breast milk for lubrication and relief.

10. Be kind to yourself – and your partner

The adjustment to a new child doesn’t happen overnight. There are massive highs and massive lows – and it’s OK to miss the old life you had. This doesn’t mean you don’t love being a mum or love your child any less. You’re doing your best.

Our thoughts:So true!

A few extra tips from us:

-Avoid wearing white/pale colours and make sure you have a range of comfortable flexible tops that provide easy breast access - like Triumph’s tank tops.

-Expect to do a lot of washing – especially with underwear and tops. In fact, you may want to stock up on quick drying clothing.

-Always pack double baby supplies whenever you go anywhere.

-No matter what you read or hear from friends, there’s no absolute right or wrong on how to be a great parent. It’s all about what seems to work for your unique little human… and you. In fact, ‘winging it’ until you find your way is usually the best approach – so don’t stress. And if in doubt, don’t be embarrassed to ask the professionals and your care team any question at all.

In the meantime, we’re here to support you in the best way we know how: comfortable, functional and stylish maternity and post-partum wear. Congratulations from us and happy parenting.